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2005-05-06
"SANTA, can Police seize my cell phone, if we take
pictures of our doin's; this weeek-end with Tiffany, Ooopsie,
Carmen
and me, SANTA?" Just pretend to be 14yr. old, best
"nigga-friend" of Tiff.;"DARBY"
asked, as she continued to ride SANTA's pony, with
girlish enthusiasm. The old Elf chuockled and shook his
baldling head, and giving Darby a thank-you pat on her
caramel coloured butt, he said. "New Hanover County
Judge W.Allen Cobb Jr.Superior Court, in Wilmington,
NC, ruled
that arresting officers should have obtained a search
warrant before viewing images from the camera phone of
one Mr.ChristopherSnow, 26. Mr.Snow is charged by Wrightville
Beach Police with second-degree sexual-offense and secret
peeping-photographic image. A witness told Police that
she had seen Mr.Snow taking pictures of an unconscious
woman on the beach. An officer activated the phone and retrieved
several immages, including one of someone pulling down
the woman's underwear. A warrant was obtained the
next day, and police contacted Sprint corporate headquarters,
that provided copies of seven images including one of the
woman's genital area. Judge Cobb wrote "THE
SEARCH AND SEIZURE`Did not fall with in any aknowledged
exception to the Search Warrant requirement under THE
FOURTH AMENDMENT." "WOW, " jiggled
just pretend to be 14, Darby. SANTA continued, "Police
officers violatedMr.Snow's constitutional rights
when they seized a camera-cell phone containing explicit
images." "Judge Cobb's finding, could
create legal precedant and serve as a reference point for
future cases nationwide." [please excuse any typos,
no Spell-Checker-will keep readers posted on further
cases]
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"SANTA,Does"ALFONSO"flirtS,w/every.pretty.girl.he.sees?-#2" 5/4/2005
Tiffany was riding SANTA's pony, When she asked SANTA
about ALFONSO who got his inner ears poko-dot-tattooed
by a Bazillian ho, when she fed him Rum & Tequila in her
cat's food dish(AND HE WAS ONL
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"SANTA,BAR-MAID'S,GIVING.MY.HUSBAND.TOO.MUCH.SERVICE!"" 4/16/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]Barmaid.too.coozy! Carmen who Darby
had called while riding SANTA'S pony, sat beside
SANTA and pretend to be 14 Darby on Tiffany's livingroom
Love-Seat settee and SANTA was consoli
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"SANTA,ALFONSO,FLIRTS.WHEN.HE.SEES.PRETTY.GIRLS(and.he's.only.a.mouse-#!" 4/13/2005
SANTA[Deadline]Alfonso'sfr.Brazil; "ALFONSO"
is an odd mousse, an illegal immigrant taat found his wayi
to AMERICA!{the land of opportsunisty and new loves}arriv-
ing on a banana & coffee boat fro
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SHADOW,"ForUnlawfulCarnalKnowledge!-#1" 4/10/2005
SHADOW[DATELINE]Titlel.Spells.Fuck She was married;SECRETSANTA
had talked to her when she made an unexpectd visit to Tiffny's
house upoon the innocent request of Tiffany's parents
who had gone to
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SANTA,"Leave.it.to.Beaver's.Mom!" 4/9/2005
SANTA[Dateline]B'ver.Mom'sFANTASY: Her husband
Ward was upstairs in the boy's bedroom readng a bed
time story to Beaver, his brother, Wally was down on his
knees in beween Ms.Landers, Beaversteac
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"SANTA, MY DR. DIDN'T SWALLOW MY CUM!" 2/26/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]CHICAGO;DrsuesDrfrCum Dr.Richard
O.Phillips says his former lover a Dr.Sharon Irons deceived
him by not swallowing his semen during an oral sex session
and using said semen to get h
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"SANWTA,OUR.'S.IN.TROUBLEw/NEW.1ST.DATE." 2/23/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]His ex-pics on wall: SECRETSANTA, knows
that your still has pctures of wedding day and more intimate
pics.on his bedroom wall of his divorced wife screwing
him, which he refuses t
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"SANTA,FORGIVE ME I HAVE SINNED!" 2/17/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Tellapriest, notSANTA!!A friend goes
to church one Sunday and hears a sermon about the Ten- Commandments,
he has a guiltyfeeling , and goes to confession. "Forgive
me
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"SANTA,I'M.A.TEACHER.WANTA,SHOW.ME^A^GOOD.TIME?"ILL 2/17/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]SundaySchoolTeacher: On their "First
Date" SECRETSANTA asked his companion for the evening,
a Sunday school teacher that was a-look-a-like of "Serena
Williams, " if she'd like a
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"SANTA,TELL.ME.SOME.ONE-LINERS,WILLYA,HUH?" 2/15/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]SANTA REMEMBERS: "When i was born,
I was so ugly, the doctor slapped my mother." "When
I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the
dog, so they got
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"SANTA,DO.ON-LINE-VID's.STEER.CUPID['s.ARROWS?" 2/14/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]On.Line.Video.Dataes? SECRETSANTA
and Video Web-Sites; Chris.Boykin, after exchanging
e-Mail instant messages, and digital photos through an
on-line dating site, got a hardon a
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"SANTA,IS.PRESIDENT.READING.TOM.WOLFE'S.SEXY.NOVEL?" 2/10/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Reading I"m C.Simons: SECRETSANTAnoted
what.is.surprising is the news that the PRESIDENT is a
big fan of "I Am Charlotte Simmons, " Tom Wolfe"s
latest doorstop at the WhiteHouse. O
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2005-02-10
SANTA[DATELINE]PolicingVideoVoyeurs! [The FEDS join
the battle against perverts with cameras] JOlene Jang
was enjoying an outdoor festival in Seattle withherboyfriend
when she felt uneasy by a creepy guy standing too close behind
her. He was reaching into her backpack. When she confronted
him, the man started to run away, but Jang's boyfriend
tackled him and held him until police arrived. A pickpocket?
No the man wasn't just a pickpocket he was using a small
digital video camera to take pictures up her skirt. Her
assailant pleaded that he was just taking the pictures
for his own enjoyment. The courts thought different, he
was convicted, began serving 38 days for violation of
the State Voyeurism Law. However;the WashingtonState
Supreme Court, overturned the verdict[Ruling: That
Ms.Jang was out in public when it happened, she had no reasonable
expectation of privacy.] Furious Ms.Jang became an outspoken
activist, and finally the state rewrote the law [The space
under a person's clothes private even in a public place.]
SANTA has found out that currently 44 states have some kind
of statute that makes video voyeurism a crime. A just-passed
Federal Law could help sort out the problem of State's
Laws with vague wording and First Amendment issues. [It
is a crime to secretly photograph anyone onFederal Property
or Military Bases.] Ms.Jang says, "I'm still
wearing skirts, but i make sure that they're on the
longer side." [SANTA says"Excuse.typos.no.SpellChecker."]
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"SANTA.IS.IT.STILL.LEGAL.TO.TELL.JOKES?" 2/9/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]N.Y.;1ST-AMENDMENT: [LAWYER JOKE CHARGES
DROPPED!] A New York City man was arrested after teling
lawyer jokes at court- use gets last laugh when GrandJury-
dismissed the di
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"SANTA.TELL.ME.ANOTHER.BARROOM.JOKE#1." COLLECTS.JOKES.#1:[BLOGGER] 2/8/2005
SANTA[JOKELINE]WHO'S THE JOKER?: I]A.man.comes.home.early.for.a, "noo-nie"
to find his wife with all her bags packed, hopping into a
waiting taxi. "Where are you
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"SANTA.WHY.AM.I.NOT.GETTING.PUSSY.FOR.A.WEEK?" 2/7/2005
SANTA[Deadline]Stop kicking the cat! A farm boy was angry
because he had to do chores before breakfast. He fed the
chickens, kicks one of them, next he mllks the cow, kicks
the cow, last he
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"SANTA,DID,I.TAKE.THAT.ONE.ALREADY?" 2/7/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Pass.awayIn.YourSleep A row of bottles
on my shelf. caused me to analyze myself. One yellow pill
I have to pop, goes to my heart, so wont stop. A little whi
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"SANTA,ARE.OUR.M.Ps.IN.IRAQ.MISBEHAVING?" 2/7/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]IRAQ;M.P.Mud Wrestler Demoted: A female
member of a Ntl-Guard.unit was demoted for indecent exposure
after a pre-Valentine's Day mud wrestling party at
t
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SANTA"IF.ONLY'S".STAND.IN.THE.WAY.OF.LOVE." 2/6/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]MAKE, REALISTIC.CHANGE With Valentine's
day appoaching many couples yearn to regain feellings
of the love and passion they once felt. For singles, the
desire to find that wonderful
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"SANTA.WHY.DID.THEY.TRY.TO ARREST.A.PANDA?? .THYPANDA 2/6/2005
SANTA{DEADLINE]PANDA.SHOOTS.UP.BAR: A PANDA bear from
China went into Bar during thr Great Depression, to get
somethiing to eat. He asked the bartender if he couldmake.a.sandwich
with all the fi
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""SANTA.WHAT.WERE.THE.8.RULES.FOR.DATING.MY.?"ING 2/6/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]JOHN.RITTER.EXPLAINS: 1:Use your hands
on my and lose them later. 2:You make her cry. I
make you cryi. 3:Safe sex is a myth. Any
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SANTA;RETIREMENT a 'S VIEW: 2/3/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA
read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report
as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D
bust, and carmel nipples, that matched h
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SANTA; 2/2/2005
SANTA[UnDeadLine]RALEIGH, NC;I'mDead? SANTA.was.reading.Police-Blotter,
Funeral-Obituaries, and Autopsy Rep- orts for a new "Article"
when he came.across.a.MedlcalExamner's.cause
of death:"UNDEAD
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2005-02-02
SANTA[DEADLINE]VIDEO.VOYEURISM: "SANTA, What.is.the.most.recentcase
of "nonconsensual photograpy" with a video
camera?" "That would have to be when Bunny Brunt
was shopping at the Norolk Mall, in.Richmond, Va.for.prom.access-ories
with her 18-year-old daughter Raquel when she noticed
a man waving a.shopping.bag under Raquel's skirt.
obviously, if wishing he could see up her skirt, if she were
wearing panties, or maybe not, a blind shot of the teen-agers
pusse^." "When Mrs.Brunt confronted him, he
bolted. After she and another, custom er chased hin down
in the Mall. Security found a secret, hidden, video camera
vid.cam.in the shopping bag he had used to peer up Raquel's
skirt. Arrested, it was found that he had also been up-skirting.several
other-teens." "But, because of a loop-hole
in Virginia's law, prosecuters were.only able to
convict, Jeffrey Swisher of nonconsensual photography,
disorderly
conduct, to serve 10 DAYS IN JAIL!" inuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
"It's immoral, it's certainly wrong, but
under the code, it's just not a writtn offence, "said
Delegate John Cosgrove, who is sponsering a bill tyt would
close the loophole in Virgina's law. We're trying
to tight the code soo some pervert isn't able to up-skirt
or down-blouse any one else." Similar effforts have
played out across the coountry, as states struggle to to
rewoord laws written before the advancement of camers
technologyi led to a boom in digital voyeurism. The internet
has fueled the erotic explosionof"up-skirt"or"down-blouse"
into a search engine, and up to a million of Web sites have
popped up. [SANTA is going for a coffee break, if any more
of you readers are interested in what one critic of SANTA's
Articles called-"SLUDGE"-req est "up-skirts
#2]excuse any typos:
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SANTA;"Vicious.Ambush!73KIA,139WIA,Marines." 2/1/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Bad<feeling<Cold.beer: "I
had bad feelings about this one, "recalled, Lance
Cpl.George Schneider, of Foxtrot Co. "Whenever
the brass give you cold beer before going out on pat
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"SANTA.WHAt's.PAY.THE.PIPER?" 1/30/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Universal.Default(-$) According to
Bankrate.com there are 1.2 Billion credit cards in use
in America. many users don't pay off their balance
every month, either. That can be c
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"SANTA.IS.$MdollarBAABY.worth.SEEING?" 1/30/2005
SANTA[DATELINE]"Yes$M$Baby.is.WORTH.EVERY.CENT:"
There's.not.an.ounce.of.flab.on Clint Eastwood's
74yr.-old body, and his new movie, "Million Dollar
Baby" is just as ta
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SANTA;"SURVIVE,HEART,ATTACK.ALONE?""M-$-BABY?"ILL 1/29/2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]10.sec.to.Live!heart^ "SECRETSANTA, HOW
TO SURVIVE A **HEART ATTACK** ALONE." "Since
many people are alone when a heart-attack occurs, this
medical know how from "Roc
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SANTA;[NO.GREATER.GIFTS.TO.GIVE.YOUR.LIFE.4/YOUR.MASTER] 1/29/2005
SECRETSANTA[DEADLINE]PostumousAward;ST, LUCIE cOUNTY, FLA.SHERIFF'S;OFFICE:K-9Unit:
The incident that claimed "Vasko's" life
was his 91st apprehension, and the 1st Line-of-Duty death
since the K-
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