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ABSTINANCE 7/31/2018
There was a businessman, and he was not feeling well, so
he went to see the doctor about it. The doctor says to him,
"Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do
you eat?" The man rep
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Tattoo 7/30/2018
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him
as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually,
go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes
off his shirt. On
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Get well soon! 7/27/2018
A traffic cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well;
however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs
in his cr
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Files Her Tax Return 7/27/2018
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells
him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br>
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll
need to ask a few questions.&qu
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Born When? 7/24/2018
I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told
her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman
was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br>
Sh
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The Silent Treatment 7/23/2018
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00am for an e
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Confession 7/20/2018
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini,
Italy, went to the local church for confession. <br><br>
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional,
The man said:
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Getting The Most Out Of Counselling 7/15/2018
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant
arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way
to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had
been at each other's throa
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The King And The Counts 7/15/2018
A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped
off because they refused to reveal where they had buried
their treasures. As the axes began to fall, one count decided
to change his mind, but
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THE HORTH WITHPERER 7/12/2018
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the rancher, and says he's
sending a friend over to look at a . Sam asks "How
will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech
im
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The Golfer and the Leprechaun. 7/12/2018
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive
into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun
flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's
ball beside him.
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The Straw Hat 7/11/2018
A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you wer
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My First Time 7/9/2018
It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br>
The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><
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Blonde Painting 7/9/2018
One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants
to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods.
She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for
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37 Views,
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A Drunk 6/28/2018
A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help
you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr
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Organist 6/28/2018
A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist
and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled
while she played the organ. <br><br>
Unfortunately, she distracted the
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Bubba And The Lawyer 6/21/2018
Down south, Bubba ed his attorney and asked, "Is
It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin
People to git cancer ?" "Yes, Bubba, sure is true, " responded the
lawyer.
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Finally a sensitive man 6/12/2018
A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they
connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his
apartment, she notices that his bedroom
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"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson 6/6/2018
My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br>
Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But no
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Senior Surgery 6/4/2018
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his , a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his .
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AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE 6/4/2018
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice.
The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty
days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds. <br>
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41 Views,
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Honesty 6/4/2018
A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come
from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?"
The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's
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The Phone Call 6/4/2018
A woman is having sex with her husband's best friend
when the phone rings. It's her husband's ringtone,
so she stops to pick it up. There's a big grin on her face
as she talks to him.
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My Travel Plans for 2018-2019 6/4/2018
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots
with someone. <br><br>
I've also never been in Cognito. I
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Holiday Present 5/28/2018
Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with
her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says
to him: <br><br>
"Is there anything you'd like me to bring
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Billy Bob and Luther 5/24/2018
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Luther" Ya knowI reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation.
Only this year I'm gonna do it A little different. The la
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Free Oranges 5/19/2018
Lulu was a , but she didn't want her grandma
to know. <br><br>
One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls
outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma
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29 Views,
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WELL, I'LL BE GONE 5/17/2018
A guy walks into a bar with his and says, "I'll
have a otch and water and my would like a whiskey sour."
<br><br>
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals
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Photo on the night stand 5/16/2018
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. <br><br>
'Is this your husband?' he nervou
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Underwear dust 5/3/2018
evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes
in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your
butt!' <br><b
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